It’s 2014 and I know some of you single folks have been dreaming of getting married since 20xx or maybe even 19xx. Well, maybe you promised yourself, this year is your year. And I am with you. I agree – it is about time you quit the single lifestyle and get into a great committed and loving companionship. A lot of singles I meet tell me they are ready to get married, but deep down inside my heart, I know they are not. Sometimes I lovingly tell them “Sorry, but you are actually not ready.”
5 Things Singles Must Get Right Before Marriage
If you are really serious about getting married, here are a few areas in your life you must get ready, and then make sure you are at the right place, at the right time!
1. Get Right Emotionally.
The emotional state of most single people is shocking. I am talking about good looking, educated and successful singles here – walking around like emotional hobos. They carry a lot of baggage from childhood, pain from unresolved family issues, pain from past relationships and pain from realising they were manipulated by someone they thought loved them. Perhaps you discovered you are emotionally attached to someone else’s boyfriend, husband, wife or girlfriend.
There is no way 2014 is going to be the year for you with all these issues. If you need to let go of your abusive ex, do so. If you need to forgive your parents, do so. Don’t wait for others to apologise to you before you forgive them. For the sake of your emotional health, forgive them regardless. You will hurt yourself and others when you go into a new relationship dragging emotional baggage with you. You have to make yourself emotionally available. Be brave enough to confront your issues so you are healed enough to offer untainted love when you start dating again.
2. Get Right Physically.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. First impressions do count! How healthy are you? Have you been managing your health well enough? Today there are a lot of options to help us enhance our health – organic food, healthy recipes, gym and eating habits. But how come some of us are not healthy or don’t care about our health?
Apostle Paul may have said bodily exercise profits little, but we want that little! Do some regular physical exercise and watch what you eat. Stop eating junk – make healthy food choices like fruits and veggies and drink lots of water. You may look and feel healthy but it’s worthwhile to make sure you have an annual health check-up. Visit the doctor as soon as you can if you notice something unusual. If you’re not sure if it’s unusual, ask a pharmacist. I waited until a few weeks before my wedding to have HIV and other STD tests – I wouldn’t advise that! I was still a bit fearful despite abstaining from sex for 15 years until I got married. Do it now and get the fear out of your way.
3. Get Right Financially.
In the recent statistics released by the South African Department of Justice and Constitutional Development, money is one of the two major reasons why couples get divorced. I am sure you don’t want to start a relationship or marriage heavily in debt. Meeting your spouse with little or no personal debt is a gift each of us deserves.
Are you still paying for your car because you chose a more expensive one? Look for ways to be economical in the way you spend money. Do you really need to buy take-away or eat out more than 3 times a week? Just because Samsung or Apple released a new phone, doesn’t mean you have to have it. No need to live like the Jones’s when you are should live like the Johns! Money is very tricky and if you don’t control it, it will control you. See a financial planner to help you if you are struggling to create a financial plan. It is always important to have a financial plan to help you avoid excessive spending.
4. Get Right Spiritually.
I am a Jesus-loving dude, so permit me to share from my Christian understanding! One of the secrets of getting it right spiritually is through staying in constant communion with God.
How do you do that? By establishing a daily praise and worship time, reading your bible daily, and praying and fasting. Some people call it daily devotion or quiet time. Whatever you call it, do it every day. Getting involved with an NGO or charity organisation is also a good idea. It keeps you close to God’s desire that you give to others as you have been given. It is also important to attend church regularly and serve with a ministry. Not out of religious duty, but for the community and fellowship opportunity, it presents for you to grow and also be accountable to someone.
The most important part of you is your spirit, not your soul or body. So if you malnourish it, chances are, it will negatively affect other areas of your life. But if you feed it well, it will positively transform your mind, your health, emotions and finances. Beautiful women and handsome men love spiritually savvy people.
5. Get Right Educationally.
When I say education, I don’t only mean sitting in a class or going to lectures. Yes, that is important but education is far more than that. A way to secure your future and that of your future spouse is to get a degree, maybe an additional degree or an MBA. That training course you’ve been putting off for months – this is the time to do it. Commit to doing one or two short courses every year so that you stay on the top of your game and keep your mind ‘fresh’.
Of course, the other part of education is life – it’s meant to be lived. Don’t quarantine yourself! Open up to the opportunities to be educated by other fields, people, art and books. Why not do a wine and food pairing course? Join a book club. Balance it up. Being educated helps you to become a well-rounded person. It helps to make you an interesting companion.
If you can get this going in your life day by day, week by week, month by month, a relationship or marriage won’t be far away from you. It’s worth it to learn how to become consistent financially, emotionally, educationally, physically and spiritually!
Can you think of other areas in life that singles must get right before they get married? What do you consider to be the most important area?
Leave a Reply